i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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