So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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