Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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