please come you make the beer taste better
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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