I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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