How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
