you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The adults are the big ones right?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
