wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
