Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
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Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
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Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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