The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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