Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
