the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
