We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
