I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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