I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You don't make any sense
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