Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
