her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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