I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon