its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
That was an excessively violent trivia night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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