I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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