this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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