I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
