She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just forgot I was standing up.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize