Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
