well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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