found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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