So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I need to calm my uterus...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
