We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
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I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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