just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The beer is more important than you right now.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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