I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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