oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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