yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
