so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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