Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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