I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
