I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
