And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
