Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
