So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it glows. i had to have it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
