Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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