Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
