He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
