There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
