I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize