So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
