I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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