You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
