Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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