Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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