kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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