She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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