On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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