I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
