I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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